Divorce. It's become as common as the cold. It strikes people of all ages, race, economic level and background. The divorce rate in the US has steadily grown for several years. It used to be a negative stigma in society. Today, people don't give it a second thought.
A recent commercial tells the attitude of the day. The voice announces, "Nobody fixes things anymore. Don't like your car; get a new one. Don't like your job; get a new one. Don't like your spouse; get a new one." People go into marriage with the same attitude they buy a car. "When I get tired of this one, I'll just trade him/her in."
Unfortunately, historians tell us that divorce and remarriage in Jesus' day were at similar epidemic proportions. Jesus said, just because you could get a divorce you shouldn't necessarily. Unless of course your spouse has been maritally unfaithful to you. Even then, Jesus didn't encourage divorce.
Although I discovered through the years that sex isn't the primary cause for individuals getting involved with "another woman" or "another man," it almost always slides into the picture. The attraction leads to a connection which leads to sexual intimacy. It starts with a brush of the hand, an embrace, a sympathetic or playful kiss and the next thing you know, off go the clothes.
Solomon had some pretty straight advice for keeping the eye (and other parts of the body) from wandering in Proverbs 5. He says to drink water from your own cisterns. In other words, satisfy your desires for love, intimacy and sex with your own spouse. He's saying to stop living in a fantasy world, stop drooling over the breasts of another man's wife. Breasts are breasts. Caress your wife's.
Solomon's advice is more than just about sex. It's about intimacy. Divorce happens when couples stop romancing each other, dating each other, celebrating each other, pouring their lives into enhancing each other. There's a tendency in the routines and stress of life to take one another for granted. The intimacy wanes. The passion for each other wanes. The sex wanes. The thrill is gone. It's no wonder we drift away from our partners.
Jesus said virtually that jumping from one relationship to another just because you can is ultimately unfulfilling, not to mention expensive. It also isn't the answer. Solomon's right. You want an exciting marriage and sex life, romance the person you married. Focus on them. Make him feel like a man. Make her feel special and loved. Anticipate your spouses needs. Surprise them. Tell them in words, actions, attention how important they are to you. Be captivated by your spouse and let it show.
God, marriage is tough. With all the stuff of life that comes down us, really loving, dating, romancing our spouses gets lost in the shuffle. Frantic schedules, the demands of kids, financial pressures all make it hard to focus on intimacy and make time for each other. Sometimes it's hard to do the caressing of bodies and egos and minds and spirits that's necessary to keep the flame alive. Stir my heart again with the desire to captivate and be captivated by the wife of my youth.
No comments:
Post a Comment