Conspiracy. That's really the only way I know to describe it. I'm not talking about some national or international event or cover up. I'm talking about what's happened to me. Ironically, it's come from people within my own church. People for whom I've poured my life out have repaid me by conspiring against me. It's happened to me more than once.
I confess, it's hard to understand and is downright painful. It messes up your life, hardens your heart and plays with your mind. Once it happens to you a few times, you become suspicious of everyone, which makes it difficult to trust anyone. You begin to protect yourself and develop a cynicism about people, church and life.
I've had people make up all sorts of stories about me, lobby against me, hold meetings with others to convince them how terrible of a person I am. I've been the object of the rumor mill and been accused of so many things I count recount.
What's a brother to do? I guess just what Joseph did, trust God. Of all the Old Testament people, I suppose I identify most with Joseph. I love David and some of the other OT heroes, but I sometimes feel more like Joseph. He was betrayed by his own brothers, who hated him for his success and position. He was betrayed by Potiphar's wife because she couldn't get what she wanted from him. He was forgotten by people he helped along the way, leaving him impoverished in prison.
Some how, through all that Joseph had to endure, God was still with him. He assured Joe by allowing him to find some favor and giving him small blessings. Mind you, Joe still spent a long time in prison, not a pleasant place. He didn't deserve to be there. But God saw him through his suffering and betrayal and eventually brought him out and honored him.
I'm reminded of a verse in James 4 which says, "Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up." And another verse in 1 Peter 5 which says, "Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you at the proper time." I've learned through the years and difficult times of false accusation by those close to me that I'm not working for the pleasure of people. I'm working to please the Holy One, my true master, my God and King. I answer to Him who knows my heart and mind and motives.
God, it's hard when people come after you for no reason or selfish ambition or misunderstanding or personal agenda. Give me the grace I need and the strength I need. I just want to be your person, to fulfill your calling on my life. Help me be like Joseph.
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