It's really all how you say it. Recently we had a congregational meeting or as I prefer to call them, family meeting. We had some encouraging news to share and some challenges to lay out. Just like everything else in our economy, we're facing some tough economic times at our church. Several have lost jobs and on top of that, summer attendance and giving is down.
We could have gone into the meeting with a depressed attitude, sharing the doom and gloom over which we had no control. But instead we decided to focus on what God was doing in our midst. I thought our meeting would be relatively short, but in fact it lasted for about 45 minutes or so. Even when we got to the toughest stuff, we had to celebrate what God was doing, because even in a down economy our giving had nearly doubled this year over year to date last year.
The downside was that because of getting into a new, more permanent facility, our expenses had doubled too. And the challenge of what was ahead was no less daunting with outside support declining and rent going up. Our treasurer was phenomenal in praising our people for giving even though several had lost jobs. He was clear and concise on our battle ahead. And with all the other good news, we came away with a positive attitude about our future.
There have been plenty of times that I blurted out the wrong thing at the wrong time. I have this disease that if something is in my mind, unfortunately it's in my mouth or should I say coming out of my mouth before I've really had time to process it appropriately. Maybe it's just a male affliction. And since I live in a household of all girls, except the dog, I've received my fair share of disdainful looks and harsh reactions. It's a wonder they haven't attacked me wrapping my mouth in layers of duct tape.
How and when you say something makes all the difference in the world. I'm not saying you don't have to confront or be honest with others. But the manner in which you disclose the truth is really important if you honestly have the other person's best interest at heart. Sugar coating something doesn't always benefit the other person, but a gentle, honest tongue does. It's not just the words themselves, it's the attitude in which they are presented.
Nobody likes to be criticized. But I would be a fool not to listen to the observations of others and correct the error of my ways. It really boils down to the relationship we have with another person. The more I trust a person, the easier it is for me both to listen and receive news, good or bad, and to deliver information, both good and bad.
Solomon's advice is simple on this subject. How you say something will affect the response of the listener. It would be foolish not to listen to a friend, a wise counselor, or a person who has your best interest at heart.
God, help me to choose my words, my tone, my manner careful as I share with others. I don't want to come off as demanding, condescending, arrogant, aloof, cold, abusive or demeaning. Slow my tongue down. Mix truth with your grace in my words. Help me also to listen humbly and openly to others. Help me to be an encouragement to others.
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