Are friends' advice a blessing or a curse? I suppose it could be both, depending upon your friends. One thing for sure is that advice from friends or acquaintances can vary widely. Some advice is sound while other advice is probably questionable. But sometimes a friends' advice can only complicate matters.
Reading through Job the last few days reminded me how important good friends are to managing life. After Job experienced all his tragedy, his closest buddies really weren't much of a help to him. His wife tells Job to curse God and die. His closest friends tell him basically that if he weren't such a sinner, he wouldn't be suffering so much. They tell him he should either repent from his evil ways or face the punishment.
To be honest, I'm not really sure what caused Job the most pain, the loss of his wealth, health and family or the abuse he took from his friends. Losing all that Job lost was certainly devastating and painful. But the accusations of his friends left Job completely alone. Instead of bringing comfort to Job, they brought even deeper pain.
As I read through these chapters I get a sense that Job wasn't really looking for answers to his plight. All he really wanted was comfort and assurance that somebody cared. He would have probably been content if those who were closest to him would simply sit in the ash heap with him and cry with him. Of the hundred plus funerals that I've performed through the years, I've never yet found the magic words to make the pain or feeling of loss go away. I've never been able to satisfactorily been able to answer the question, "why?" I've given away lots of hugs, held lots of hands, wiped plenty of tears and shed some myself, but I've never found the magic bullet that makes everything alright.
All the advice in the world doesn't mean as much as a friend who will come along side of you and sit with you in the ash heap. You ultimately have to make your own decisions, take your own steps, call your own play. Listening, empathizing, caring means a lot, especially if you're the one struggling. I just need to know that there is someone in my corner.
God, I know that you are always in my corner no matter how dark it appears. But it really helps, Lord, to have some flesh and bone there with me too. I just need someone to encourage me, comfort me, cry with me, agonize with me, listen to me. I don't always need advice and I definitely don't need someone telling me, "I told you so." Lord, help me to be that person to others. Help me know when to confront and when to comfort. Help know when to offer a hand and when to give a nudge. Give me your wisdom and your heart and your spirit.
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