Oh the exuberance of youth! As a teen I began a real journey of faith in Christ. After 4 years of Bible College, I was ready to take on the world and reform the Church. I had all the answers in my mind. (The only problem was that I didn't even know all the questions.) I was ambitious, impetuous, adventurous, idealistic, oh and one more thing, naive (that sounds better than stupid).
I know for most of my youthful years many people considered me downright arrogant. I probably was. I thought of myself as confident, assured and determined. After all, a leader with a spiritual vision has to be, right? My attitude was, "Okay, Lord, I know what to do, just turn me loose. I'm raring to go." And God let me go, on my own. You'd think after a couple train wrecks I'd have learned. But some of us are either just plain stubborn or slow learners. Truth is, I may have been both.
All of us learn through the school of hard knocks. We learn through the trials and hardships and struggles of life. We call this "life experience." The more we experience in terms of difficulties and challenges and victories, the wiser we become. As we get battered around in life, we are forced to listen to others, to rely on others, to ask for help. It's during those times we are often forced into isolation, to sit alone in silent ponder.
These are times I've experienced my greatest spiritual growth. These are the times I find myself crying out to God from my knees or face down on the floor or at least my bed. If we don't have these times, we'd probably never learn to rely on God or listen for His voice, His direction, His guidance, His timing. I can't say that these have been the most pleasurable experiences of my life, but they have been some of the deepest, most intimate growth I've had. For in these times I've seen the power of God and the grace of God.
Going through a lonely time? A difficult time? Relish it. Make the most of it. Use the time wisely. Remember it was in those times that God spoke to the heroes of the Bible, like Moses, Elijah, David, Samuel, Gideon, Noah, Abraham, Peter, Paul and others. It was after those encounters that they experienced some of their greatest ministry. You're not alone. You're actually in good company. Ps. 46 says in those moments to be still, relax, cease your striving and know that He is God.
God, waiting on you is hard. Having to endure loneliness and failure and rejection is hard. Thanks for the lessons I've learned in the past. Thanks for demonstrating your power, your presence and your wisdom. Thanks for providing the strength you promised in Isa. 40. I'm still learning to wait on you, especially waiting quietly. Forgive my arrogance.
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