Sunday, I challenged our congregation to take the "Love Dare" by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. It's a forty day devotional and lifestyle challenge especially focused at married couples, but has some profound implications to all relationships. We're doing it in correlation with a series I'm doing on marriage and family. Each day the Love Dare has a basic scripture followed by some thoughts and then finally a love challenge for the day. There's a place to keep a journal of what's happening in your relationship. So for the next 6 weeks I have decided to use the basic scripture as a basis for my own reflections.
My first observation is that each day as you digest the scripture and thought for the day and then take the challenge, that something happens to you. It changes you, your attitude, your behavior patterns. It's easy to get into destructive behavior patterns without even knowing. The more familiar we become with our partner over time, there is a tendency to just let our relationship hover. The routines of life take over and before you know it the thrill is gone.
Day to day it's hard to stay focused on your relationship. Before long many marriages are more like a drudgery than a joy. Things get said or don't get said that begin to create small fissures in a marriage. Over time those fissures grow and if nothing is done can be devastating. But if proper steps are taken, those fissures can be repaired.
When we got married we promised to love, honor and cherish our spouse till death. Unfortunately the honoring and cherishing dissipates rather quickly. Mistake. Honoring our spouse is the key to a healthy a relationship. Sunday, I talked about the importance of husbands honoring their spouse from 1 Peter 3:7. There's a tendency among men to want their wives to honor them, to build them up, to have their wives support them while they build their own careers or accomplish their own goals. Yet, God instructs husbands to honor their wives and build them up in the same way Christ does the church.
But the truth is honoring our mate has to happen by both marriage partners. As I honor my mate, my spouse is moved toward me. Who wants to be criticized, critiqued or made to feel subservient all the time. But if someone honors you, you are drawn to them. And something strange happens to me, as I focus on honoring someone, especially my spouse, my heart and attitude change toward them. I find myself rooting for that person and wanting to invest more into that person.
God, I want to honor my wife in practical ways. I realize that when I honor her I'm honoring you. Give me the insight and wisdom to help her become all she can be. Help me rid myself of my selfishness and sometimes critical or demanding or demeaning speech.
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