Fifteen years ago I'd never heard of the word "dysfunctional" used in regard to families. Today, it seems like a regular term I use on a weekly basis. To be honest, back then I really didn't know what a dysfunctional family was. Today, I see them, meet with them, minister to them all the time. At times I've wondered if dysfunctional families were becoming the norm.
I've noted that dysfunctional families struggle with personal relationships. There's often misguided expressions of love or should I say misconstrued expressions of love. More often than not, people who received aberrant expressions of love by parents or significant others have never really understood love. Not knowing what love really is makes it difficult to express love in a healthy way. In fact, those who don't know what love is about, have a hard time accepting love from others. Some who are desperate for love, seek it in all forms and will do almost anything for love and attention from anyone. That frequently plays out in promiscuity and bouncing from one bad relationship to another.
Jesus said that the world would know that we are His disciples by the love we, as believers, have toward one another. Jesus knew about dysfunctional families and relationships long before the word became vogue. The love Jesus taught and expressed was uniquely different from the world, which demonstrated itself in practical service, unconditional acceptance, grace, forgiveness, mercy and encouragement.
But has the church become a dysfunctional family? Recently a church that I'm close to, split down the middle over some questionable leadership decisions. Another pastor friend of mine told me about having to, on two occasions, break up a fight between two ladies in leadership positions in the hallway before services. In my early days of ministry, there was a neighboring church that split over the length of the curtain that covered the baptismal. I was in a meeting of pastors the other day when one of them emphatically stated that he couldn't fellowship with another church who didn't believe as he did.
What happened to, "men will know you are my disciples by the love you have for one another?" Jesus said we're to love one another as He love us. How did Jesus love? A quick glance through the New Testament and you'll discover that Jesus loved people unconditionally, no matter their background. He loved them practically, meeting their real needs. He even loved His enemies, those who disagreed with His teaching, and those who betrayed and killed Him. I just thank God that Jesus loved me when I was separated from Him, a sinner, and even an enemy of God.
God, I'm trying to love like you, but I need your help. I want people to experience your embrace through me. Give me your heart and passion for people and the strength and wisdom to express your love
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