So when do you speak up and when do you keep your mouth shut? Sometimes that's hard to know as a friend. Most of us don't like conflict or confrontation. So we avoid it at all costs, even to the detriment of the person we love. Sometimes you do have let stuff go, but other times you can't let it slide.
Codependency is just as much a personal issue as alcoholism or drug addiction or any other self-destructive behavior pattern. Sometimes we don't want to address an issue with a loved one because we feel needed. We reinforce or ignore or perpetuate the ill behavior of others for our own strange sense of self esteem.
But more often than not, we don't want to speak up because we don't want to get involved or hurt someone's feelings or strain our relationship. We try to close our eyes and blindly just go on. Or we just avoid the person or conversation.
I don't like confrontation anymore than the next person. But I'd rather have my friends and family be honest with me than to let me pursue a potentially self-destructive behavior pattern or irritating habit. If I'm trailing a piece of TP when I leave the restroom or my fly is open or I've got toothpaste on my face, I appreciate when my loved ones enlighten me and save me from greater embarrassment.
Friends, loved ones who are really friends know when and how to speak up and when to let it pass. People who just tell me good stuff about me all the time don't really help me grow as a person. In fact, I can't really trust their opinion. I want people to be honest with me so I can grow, develop, etc. I'm not talking about constant criticism. I'm talking about a companion who encourages me through their honesty.
God, thanks for the friends around me who help me grow. Help me to be that kind of friend and companion, to know when and how to speak. Help me speak truth with love and to graciously receive the truth when shared with me.
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