Investments are fun when you can see the return. Waiting on those returns or slow results drives us crazy. I remember as a kid planting seeds in a cup or small planter, giving them a little water and then expecting to see them grow before my very eyes. Funny, no matter how long you sat there you could never see those things emerge from the soil and begin to grow. I expected things to happen quickly, like watching a time lapse video. But it never happened.
Eventually my plants would emerge from the soil and slowly begin their growth. But it never happened the way I wanted it to or thought it should. I'm still amazed today at how plants grow when you're not watching them. I planted my cucumbers a month ago. It fascinates me that they send out those feelers and how they wrap them several times around my wire trellis as they grow. I never see them do it. But some time they reach out grab onto it as they begin to climb. How do they know that the trellis is even there?
The things of God baffle me. His design and how the universe operates is so complex yet so interesting. It's how God works in all of life. Sometimes I think I've got Him figured out or how the formula works, only discover things don't work quite the way I think. I get confused with how God works or why He does or doesn't do things. He messes with my mind and there are times I think He does it on purpose.
Several times in scriptures God explains to us that His ways are not our ways. So why does my faith get rattled when I come up against it. I've got everything figured out and God decides to do things in a very different, sometimes opposite way. That jars me. It sets me back a little bit. I grow frustrated and even irritated.
Since I don't know how God always works, I've learned that I just have to keep plugging away. I can't stop investing my life into Kingdom work, no matter what my situation. This Ecclesiastes passage is indicative of how God does work and what He simply wants from us. He tells to cast our bread on the water and after many days we will find it. Many days in my mind is like a week or so. But it God's timing it could be years. Don't you wish that God would give you the timetable? But He doesn't.
A lot of people wait on God to give some spectacular sign or speak to them before begin to invest their life or resources or extend themselves. Ecclesiastes says that those people who are looking for the perfect conditions will never reap anything. When I was younger people would tell me not to wait until everything is perfect before you start having kids or you won't have any. The same is true about Kingdom investing. Conditions will never be perfect, so just start sowing. According to verse 6 you sow in the morning and sow in the evening, because we never know when it's going to take root.
Some people are like me planting the seed in a cup. They sow their seed and expect to see immediate results. When it doesn't happen they stop sowing and watering and lose all expectations. Since we don't know when or how that seed will germinate, we have to keep that hope alive and trust God that He knows what He's doing.
Everybody wants to enjoy the fruit of the harvest, but not everyone gets to. Paul says the he plants, Apollos waters, and God gives the increase. Somehow we think we're should get to do the harvesting, but all God asks us to do is the planting, cultivating, nurturing, watering, etc. He reserves the harvesting for Himself. God may just have us doing nothing but weeding. It's not a very glamorous job, but one that has to be done.
For those us results oriented individuals, God's methods and God's way can sometimes be exasperating. I get depressed when things don't go the way I think they should or the way I've planned it. It makes it hard not to just through our hands in the air and move on. But God calls us to keep investing, morning, evening, noon, etc. because we never know what's He's going to use to His glory.
God, I like to see things happen. I'm a dreamer. It's discouraging, even depressing when you invest so much and see little return. Yet I know this isn't about me. It's about you and your Kingdom. As your servant all you ask me to do is to give myself fully everyday for you. God, help stop worrying about the results and just be your servant. Strengthen me God for today. Show me what you want me to do today. Let me see with your eyes and let me act with your heart and hands and voice.
Daily reflections on various passages of God's Word with an honest, authentic and practical approach. God's Word is relevant, inspiring, challenging, encouraging and reliably true. Our goal is simply to interpret God's teachings for our complex and constantly changing times. Copy and paste the daily scripture into the Bible Gateway link and you can read the verses.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
God Are You There? (Ps 62:1-8)
Read through the Psalms and you can't help but see that David had his share of detractors that gave him plenty of grief. Surrounding nations, people in his own administration, and even his family made his life miserable and at times tried to kill him or dethrone him. Whoever said it's lonely at the top must have experienced the life of David. David constantly is talking about those who are out to get him in one way or another.
Maybe growing up the youngest of several brothers caused him to be a little paranoid. I mean, after all, you have to think that he got picked on. Typical sibling rivalry would tell you that. What his older brothers thought of him was very evident when he came to delivery supplies to them the time he eventually fought and defeated Goliath. Maybe that's why David developed his scrappy personality.
There is no doubt in my mind that David felt many times that it was him against the world. The only one David had learn to count on was God. Ps 62 is a reflection of David's heart and emotion. He talks about the fact that God is the only one in whom he can find rest, refuge, solace. God was the source of David's strength. He was his salvation.
For David, I think salvation was more than eternal life. Salvation was immediate. He had his enemies. People had and were trying to kill him throughout his life. People, including his own sons, were trying to dethrone him. He even had some very difficult moments with at least one of his wives. Salvation to David extended to his life, his position, his kingdom, his family and his sanity. God even saved David from himself.
I don't know about you, but sometimes I have and do feel abandoned by God. He seems so far distant as things are falling apart all around us. Where is His voice? Where is His direction? Why doesn't He do something? Is He even there? Does He even care? I want to run into His gates, His tower, but the door seems locked.
My guess is that David had those same emotions. Things didn't always go smooth for him. He didn't get everything he wanted. There was apparently a lot of tension in his own family. Yet, somehow he hung onto the fact that God had come through for him in the past and would do so in the future. When you can't trust your co-workers or peers or even family, who do you trust? David found that God was reliable and always aware of his predicaments and needs.
That's why he kept pursuing God. David's own wealth, power, accomplishments, wisdom, reputation, good looks, talents, brashness, boldness, will power, charm wasn't enough to deal with everything he faced. He had to trust God. That's a hard place to come to for some of us. And sometimes God knows that we have to be stripped bare before we turn to Him and recognize that He alone is the only one that we can trust for our salvation, and I don't mean just eternal life.
God, when you're quiet it's hard to trust you. I want immediate action. I want immediate clarification. I want immediate relief and resolution. Waiting on you is really tough. I don't understand why you don't just do something. Sounds a little childish, I know. I really want to trust you. I really want to believe that you will act. I guess it's the silence that's so disturbing. I don't really have any place else to turn but you. I need your salvation. I'm crying out to you. I pouring out my heart to you, because I know that you alone are my only true refuge.
Maybe growing up the youngest of several brothers caused him to be a little paranoid. I mean, after all, you have to think that he got picked on. Typical sibling rivalry would tell you that. What his older brothers thought of him was very evident when he came to delivery supplies to them the time he eventually fought and defeated Goliath. Maybe that's why David developed his scrappy personality.
There is no doubt in my mind that David felt many times that it was him against the world. The only one David had learn to count on was God. Ps 62 is a reflection of David's heart and emotion. He talks about the fact that God is the only one in whom he can find rest, refuge, solace. God was the source of David's strength. He was his salvation.
For David, I think salvation was more than eternal life. Salvation was immediate. He had his enemies. People had and were trying to kill him throughout his life. People, including his own sons, were trying to dethrone him. He even had some very difficult moments with at least one of his wives. Salvation to David extended to his life, his position, his kingdom, his family and his sanity. God even saved David from himself.
I don't know about you, but sometimes I have and do feel abandoned by God. He seems so far distant as things are falling apart all around us. Where is His voice? Where is His direction? Why doesn't He do something? Is He even there? Does He even care? I want to run into His gates, His tower, but the door seems locked.
My guess is that David had those same emotions. Things didn't always go smooth for him. He didn't get everything he wanted. There was apparently a lot of tension in his own family. Yet, somehow he hung onto the fact that God had come through for him in the past and would do so in the future. When you can't trust your co-workers or peers or even family, who do you trust? David found that God was reliable and always aware of his predicaments and needs.
That's why he kept pursuing God. David's own wealth, power, accomplishments, wisdom, reputation, good looks, talents, brashness, boldness, will power, charm wasn't enough to deal with everything he faced. He had to trust God. That's a hard place to come to for some of us. And sometimes God knows that we have to be stripped bare before we turn to Him and recognize that He alone is the only one that we can trust for our salvation, and I don't mean just eternal life.
God, when you're quiet it's hard to trust you. I want immediate action. I want immediate clarification. I want immediate relief and resolution. Waiting on you is really tough. I don't understand why you don't just do something. Sounds a little childish, I know. I really want to trust you. I really want to believe that you will act. I guess it's the silence that's so disturbing. I don't really have any place else to turn but you. I need your salvation. I'm crying out to you. I pouring out my heart to you, because I know that you alone are my only true refuge.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Ever Felt Worthless? (Ps. 139:13-16)
Ever felt worthless, like you life doesn't really amount to much? Boy, I have. There have been times when I really wondered why I was even on this earth. I think most people go through those emotions at some time in their life. In this tough economy with unemployment at ten percent and under employment is at twenty percent, I am sure there are a lot people pondering their self worth. Losing a job can sure mess you up, especially if you have been unable to find a new one.
Of course losing a job isn't the only reason for a deflated self image. The loss of virtually anything can have the same effect whether that's losing a house, a family member, a long time friend or group of friends, a chunk of your savings or investments, a long held position of service or something as simple as a sporting event. Self worth is a complicated thing. A poor self image can effect our mood, our productivity, our motivation, our health, our sleep patterns, our attitude, our outlook, our relationships, and our confidence.
To those of you who, like me, have had some recent rough patches that have damaged your self esteem let me remind you of a passage from Psalm 139 that has refreshed me. Verses 13-16 are a reminder that God is totally aware of your situation. He saw it before you knew what hit you. You're whole life was laid out to him before even one day of them ever happened. He was there before you got there or where you are right now. He knew before you were born what you were going to need today in terms of strength, comfort, guidance and resources. He also knows what's in store for you tomorrow.
Your value is not determined by your job or what material things you possess or what level of status you have or by who likes you or who doesn't. Your value has been determined by God. YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. I used to keep a poster in my office during my youth ministry days that simply said, "God don't make no junk!" Not very grammatically correct, but you understand the point. You have been cosmically and custom designed by God to be who you are. Everything God creates is good, because HE sees to it.
That's not to say that we're perfect or that we'll always choose to the right thing or even the good thing. Part of the goodness that God created in us is personal choice. Sorry, can't blame God for our bad choices and there are consequences for the choices we make or have made. But even in our bad choices, God is there to redeem, restore and renew because we are valuable to Him.
If God truly did "knit me together in my mother's womb," as Psalm 139 says, that means that He must have a special purpose for me in His Kingdom and on this planet. He didn't just throw me down here on this planet to take up space. Everything God creates He does so with plan and purpose in mind. Sometimes I'm not always clear what that specific purpose is for me, but I know what His general purpose is for me and that is to bring glory to Him. And as His child in Christ, I am to bring a blessing, His Good News, to the people around me.
I don't have to have a specific job or position or talent or looks or economic level to do that. I simply have to extend myself in behalf of God to others. The Apostle Paul said that he learned to be content in all situations. When you look at Paul's life you realize that if someone had a right to feel down on himself or defeated or all alone or abandoned or rejected or friendless, he certainly did.
But Paul discovered that his value was in God alone, Christ alone. That and God's grace was simply enough for him. Stripped of everything earthly, sitting in a prison cell, he found reason to praise and celebrate and enjoy his life in Christ and to be a blessing to others.
When I center my focus on things of earthly descent or standard, my personal value can get tattered, torn and pretty roughed up. Depression creeps in and steals my joy. But if I can focus on the fact that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, created uniquely by God for His special purpose and pleasure, it changes me. No matter your circumstance, you are still of eternal value and have incredible things to offer to those around you. Just go bless somebody and do it today.
God, it's real easy to start feeling sorry for myself when things don't go my way. I don't why I put so much value on my job or position or economic status. I guess in my desire to be loved and recognized by others, I lose sight of what really gives me value and significance. I get more worried about me than about being the vessel you created me to be as your representative. Thanks for creating me, me. I know that I'm far from perfect, but I'll have to wait for you to do that in me at the resurrection. Give me the courage and confidence to just bless someone else today. I'm trusting in your plan and that you'll take care of my needs and that of my family. I recognize my inadequacies and fallacies, but I put my life in your hands.
Of course losing a job isn't the only reason for a deflated self image. The loss of virtually anything can have the same effect whether that's losing a house, a family member, a long time friend or group of friends, a chunk of your savings or investments, a long held position of service or something as simple as a sporting event. Self worth is a complicated thing. A poor self image can effect our mood, our productivity, our motivation, our health, our sleep patterns, our attitude, our outlook, our relationships, and our confidence.
To those of you who, like me, have had some recent rough patches that have damaged your self esteem let me remind you of a passage from Psalm 139 that has refreshed me. Verses 13-16 are a reminder that God is totally aware of your situation. He saw it before you knew what hit you. You're whole life was laid out to him before even one day of them ever happened. He was there before you got there or where you are right now. He knew before you were born what you were going to need today in terms of strength, comfort, guidance and resources. He also knows what's in store for you tomorrow.
Your value is not determined by your job or what material things you possess or what level of status you have or by who likes you or who doesn't. Your value has been determined by God. YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. I used to keep a poster in my office during my youth ministry days that simply said, "God don't make no junk!" Not very grammatically correct, but you understand the point. You have been cosmically and custom designed by God to be who you are. Everything God creates is good, because HE sees to it.
That's not to say that we're perfect or that we'll always choose to the right thing or even the good thing. Part of the goodness that God created in us is personal choice. Sorry, can't blame God for our bad choices and there are consequences for the choices we make or have made. But even in our bad choices, God is there to redeem, restore and renew because we are valuable to Him.
If God truly did "knit me together in my mother's womb," as Psalm 139 says, that means that He must have a special purpose for me in His Kingdom and on this planet. He didn't just throw me down here on this planet to take up space. Everything God creates He does so with plan and purpose in mind. Sometimes I'm not always clear what that specific purpose is for me, but I know what His general purpose is for me and that is to bring glory to Him. And as His child in Christ, I am to bring a blessing, His Good News, to the people around me.
I don't have to have a specific job or position or talent or looks or economic level to do that. I simply have to extend myself in behalf of God to others. The Apostle Paul said that he learned to be content in all situations. When you look at Paul's life you realize that if someone had a right to feel down on himself or defeated or all alone or abandoned or rejected or friendless, he certainly did.
But Paul discovered that his value was in God alone, Christ alone. That and God's grace was simply enough for him. Stripped of everything earthly, sitting in a prison cell, he found reason to praise and celebrate and enjoy his life in Christ and to be a blessing to others.
When I center my focus on things of earthly descent or standard, my personal value can get tattered, torn and pretty roughed up. Depression creeps in and steals my joy. But if I can focus on the fact that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, created uniquely by God for His special purpose and pleasure, it changes me. No matter your circumstance, you are still of eternal value and have incredible things to offer to those around you. Just go bless somebody and do it today.
God, it's real easy to start feeling sorry for myself when things don't go my way. I don't why I put so much value on my job or position or economic status. I guess in my desire to be loved and recognized by others, I lose sight of what really gives me value and significance. I get more worried about me than about being the vessel you created me to be as your representative. Thanks for creating me, me. I know that I'm far from perfect, but I'll have to wait for you to do that in me at the resurrection. Give me the courage and confidence to just bless someone else today. I'm trusting in your plan and that you'll take care of my needs and that of my family. I recognize my inadequacies and fallacies, but I put my life in your hands.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Refreshment and Giving (Prov. 11:19-27)
There is a saying, "What goes around, comes around." I'm not sure that is always true, but if you read through Proverbs you'll realize that there is wisdom in pursuing the things of God. In chapter 11, Solomon states some practical and reassuring principles about investing your life. He says things like, "the righteous man attains life, but he who pursues evil goes to his death;" the Lord detests men of perverse heart, but he delights in those whose ways are blameless;" and "Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished."
Those are some great truths by which to live. But the verse that caught my eye in this passage was twenty-five, "A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Generosity tells a lot about what is going on in the heart of a person. Oh sure there are people who are generous so that they may gain something in return, whether that's future favors or consideration or simply an attempt to promote their own name.
But the second part of this verse is the telling factor, "those who refreshes others." There it is, a true heart of giving; those who chose willfully to sacrifice of their own resources to the benefit of others. The goal isn't personal gain. It's all out giving.
Giving isn't always just financial or material things. It's using your life to bring a blessing and refreshment to others. It's about pouring yourself out like a drink offering to God. It's watching the neighbors kids so they can do some shopping or run necessary errands or just to give them a break. It's mowing the neighbors lawn. It's lending a hand to someone. It's bringing laughter to those around you. It's ministering in a time of need. It's bringing God's Good News to the downcast.
There are many other verses in the Bible that support this giving heart or mentality, but some of those also bring a promise. Jesus says in Luke, "Give and it will be given to you, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will pour into your lap." Ecclesiastes says, "Cast your bread on the waters and after many days you'll find it or it will flow back to you." 2 Corinthians says, "whoever sows generously will also reap generously."
Solomon here says that those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. That's a great promise. It's in giving that we are truly the ones who are blessed. Jesus said that it's better to give than receive. It's in our giving that we closely resemble the heart of our God. For God so loved the world that he GAVE. Not only is there an altruistic sense of personal joy when we give, there's an awareness that we partnering with our creator. In some sense we're becoming like him in that moment.
Yet I think that there is more to the promise here. God promises to refresh those who refresh others. As you pour out, you empty yourself, God's promise is to refill you, renew you. Those who pour out need to drink in once in a while otherwise there is nothing left to pour out. He refills our cup through his word, his spirit, his power, his resources. Some of those resources includes the very ones to whom you as the giver refreshed. People will give back to you. Other servants of God will come along side of you and pour into your life.
I've experienced that in my own life recently. There have been many who have come along side of our church and my family personally and financially. It's been refreshing just to see God's family at work. When you pour your life out to refresh others, it's not a vain exercise. Yes people will always take advantage of you. But if you read the rest of this proverb you will discover that they will get their just reward. Rest assured, God is fully aware of your situation. He will dole out in due season the appropriate response. But the choice comes down to us. Give generously or focus on yourself.
God, I want to be known as one who refreshes others, not as one who drains the life out people around me. I want to model your character as a giver. I know that I only have the resources that you bless me with. I want to use them wisely for you, to bless the kingdom, the world you created. Refresh me so that I may continue to be a blessing to others and refresh others in your name.
Those are some great truths by which to live. But the verse that caught my eye in this passage was twenty-five, "A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Generosity tells a lot about what is going on in the heart of a person. Oh sure there are people who are generous so that they may gain something in return, whether that's future favors or consideration or simply an attempt to promote their own name.
But the second part of this verse is the telling factor, "those who refreshes others." There it is, a true heart of giving; those who chose willfully to sacrifice of their own resources to the benefit of others. The goal isn't personal gain. It's all out giving.
Giving isn't always just financial or material things. It's using your life to bring a blessing and refreshment to others. It's about pouring yourself out like a drink offering to God. It's watching the neighbors kids so they can do some shopping or run necessary errands or just to give them a break. It's mowing the neighbors lawn. It's lending a hand to someone. It's bringing laughter to those around you. It's ministering in a time of need. It's bringing God's Good News to the downcast.
There are many other verses in the Bible that support this giving heart or mentality, but some of those also bring a promise. Jesus says in Luke, "Give and it will be given to you, a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will pour into your lap." Ecclesiastes says, "Cast your bread on the waters and after many days you'll find it or it will flow back to you." 2 Corinthians says, "whoever sows generously will also reap generously."
Solomon here says that those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. That's a great promise. It's in giving that we are truly the ones who are blessed. Jesus said that it's better to give than receive. It's in our giving that we closely resemble the heart of our God. For God so loved the world that he GAVE. Not only is there an altruistic sense of personal joy when we give, there's an awareness that we partnering with our creator. In some sense we're becoming like him in that moment.
Yet I think that there is more to the promise here. God promises to refresh those who refresh others. As you pour out, you empty yourself, God's promise is to refill you, renew you. Those who pour out need to drink in once in a while otherwise there is nothing left to pour out. He refills our cup through his word, his spirit, his power, his resources. Some of those resources includes the very ones to whom you as the giver refreshed. People will give back to you. Other servants of God will come along side of you and pour into your life.
I've experienced that in my own life recently. There have been many who have come along side of our church and my family personally and financially. It's been refreshing just to see God's family at work. When you pour your life out to refresh others, it's not a vain exercise. Yes people will always take advantage of you. But if you read the rest of this proverb you will discover that they will get their just reward. Rest assured, God is fully aware of your situation. He will dole out in due season the appropriate response. But the choice comes down to us. Give generously or focus on yourself.
God, I want to be known as one who refreshes others, not as one who drains the life out people around me. I want to model your character as a giver. I know that I only have the resources that you bless me with. I want to use them wisely for you, to bless the kingdom, the world you created. Refresh me so that I may continue to be a blessing to others and refresh others in your name.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Overwhelmed (1 Pet. 5:6-10)
Everywhere I go I hear people talking about being "stressed out" over something. Work, school, relationships, kids, circumstances, finances, you name it, we're stressed out about something. Sometimes we get stressed over small issues. Sometimes we're stressed over big issues. Sometimes we're stressed over a combination of things whose culmination leads to not enough time to get it all done.
A counselor friend of mine once told me that the world would be a lot better place if we would put Celexa (a mood elevating drug) in the water supply. That might be an idea, but something tells me that wouldn't eliminate all the stress we experience in life.
Peter instructs us to cast all our anxiety/cares on God, because He cares for us. That too seems easier said than done. With unemployment still about 10%, the economy still in the tank, taxes going up, oil filling the gulf, war still raging, pressures building, casting my anxiety on God is a difficult thing to do. The "don't worry, be happy" Bobby McFerrin mentality is hard to come by. We're thinking, "God, you're stressing me out by not sticking your finger in the dike. Plug the hole in the economy, the oil leak in the gulf, MY checkbook."
Too be honest, I've been facing my own personal test of living this truth. In addition to what's been going on in our economy, I've been facing one of the most difficult challenges of my life. Earlier this spring, we discovered that our treasurer had embezzled multiple thousands of dollars from our church. He left us in debt and significantly overdrawn at our bank. The effect has been devastating to our church family. We lost the lease on our facility and have virtually been forced into closing.
The personal toll for me has been high, emotionally, spiritually and financially. No income, no church, no job, no clear vision of the future. Talk about anxiety. Bills continue. Vehicles need repairing. Mouths have to be fed, including mine. I find myself crying out, "OK God, I'm casting all my cares on you but can you hurry up and do something about this? And don't give me that stuff about those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. I'm drowning here."
Casting your cares on Him is easy to say and preach and tell others. But when you're in the throes of a crisis, it's dark and you can't find your way clear, casting your anxiety on Him is cry of desperation. We want, we need God to do something NOW because the strain is unbearable. It's hard to keep going when you feel that Job had it easy. It rattles our faith and we certainly find it hard to believe that God truly does care for us as the scripture asserts.
I know that I'm just a whining wimp. I haven't had to suffer anything as severe as many. My uncertainties and circumstances are nothing compared to the many martyrs of both scripture and history. Yet deep in my heart I long for that place of security, and value, and calm and relief from the pressure. I keep clinging to the promise that "the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."(v.10)
God, I don't like being in a place of insecurity. It's hard to take the next step when you can't see where you're going. The stress is only building as each day brings with it more pressure, more uncertainty and the hole just seems to keep getting bigger. I'm casting my cares on you. Show me that you care. Show me that you are aware of my need, my pain, my desperation. Expand my faith. Renew my spirit. Make me aware of your presence. Give me hope. Resolve the issues that seem insurmountable. Restore me. Make me strong, firm and steadfast in YOU.
A counselor friend of mine once told me that the world would be a lot better place if we would put Celexa (a mood elevating drug) in the water supply. That might be an idea, but something tells me that wouldn't eliminate all the stress we experience in life.
Peter instructs us to cast all our anxiety/cares on God, because He cares for us. That too seems easier said than done. With unemployment still about 10%, the economy still in the tank, taxes going up, oil filling the gulf, war still raging, pressures building, casting my anxiety on God is a difficult thing to do. The "don't worry, be happy" Bobby McFerrin mentality is hard to come by. We're thinking, "God, you're stressing me out by not sticking your finger in the dike. Plug the hole in the economy, the oil leak in the gulf, MY checkbook."
Too be honest, I've been facing my own personal test of living this truth. In addition to what's been going on in our economy, I've been facing one of the most difficult challenges of my life. Earlier this spring, we discovered that our treasurer had embezzled multiple thousands of dollars from our church. He left us in debt and significantly overdrawn at our bank. The effect has been devastating to our church family. We lost the lease on our facility and have virtually been forced into closing.
The personal toll for me has been high, emotionally, spiritually and financially. No income, no church, no job, no clear vision of the future. Talk about anxiety. Bills continue. Vehicles need repairing. Mouths have to be fed, including mine. I find myself crying out, "OK God, I'm casting all my cares on you but can you hurry up and do something about this? And don't give me that stuff about those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. I'm drowning here."
Casting your cares on Him is easy to say and preach and tell others. But when you're in the throes of a crisis, it's dark and you can't find your way clear, casting your anxiety on Him is cry of desperation. We want, we need God to do something NOW because the strain is unbearable. It's hard to keep going when you feel that Job had it easy. It rattles our faith and we certainly find it hard to believe that God truly does care for us as the scripture asserts.
I know that I'm just a whining wimp. I haven't had to suffer anything as severe as many. My uncertainties and circumstances are nothing compared to the many martyrs of both scripture and history. Yet deep in my heart I long for that place of security, and value, and calm and relief from the pressure. I keep clinging to the promise that "the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."(v.10)
God, I don't like being in a place of insecurity. It's hard to take the next step when you can't see where you're going. The stress is only building as each day brings with it more pressure, more uncertainty and the hole just seems to keep getting bigger. I'm casting my cares on you. Show me that you care. Show me that you are aware of my need, my pain, my desperation. Expand my faith. Renew my spirit. Make me aware of your presence. Give me hope. Resolve the issues that seem insurmountable. Restore me. Make me strong, firm and steadfast in YOU.